NEW DADS’ GROUP

As children, men are “trained” for manhood through sports and competition, taught that tangible accomplishments define self-worth, that feelings mean weakness.  This can leave us with emotional unavailability, where a lack of skills to process feelings in healthy ways can lead to aggression and other behaviors harmful to ourselves, our professional lives, and our intimate relationships.  It can also lead to issues with intimacy and sexual performance, an area of our lives in which we often feel pressure to be both the conquering alpha and the vulnerable lover.

Adding a child onto this is like detonating a nuclear bomb – emotionally, mentally, and physically – and it can intensely magnify the struggles men already experience.

One in ten dads suffer from postpartum depression, and 18% of fathers develop a clinically significant anxiety disorder.  And then there are the masses whose pain might not meet that clinical threshold, but whose suffering is just as real.

Yet men often suffer in silence. Alone.  Because society focuses so much on maternal PPD, there can be a sense that what fathers are feeling isn’t “real.”  Or that, even if it is, they should just “man up” so they can be there to support their partner.

This group is not a space where you need to prove yourself or the validity of your feelings. This is a space for fathers to support each other and to process their emotions and fears through connecting with others experiencing the same.  It is a safe and nonjudgmental space to explore everything you are going through as a father – even the “ugly” feelings, which can include resentment or anger toward your child or partner, regret at becoming a father, even a desire to just run away.  And then there’s the shame at feeling things the Hallmark card aisle says you’re not supposed to.

Each weekly, virtual meeting offers a space for fathers to process whatever is on their minds, as well as guidance on topics such as:

  • Managing overload (self-care and distress management)

  • Redefining the expectations of “fatherhood”

  • How to co-parent

  • How to support (and ask for support from) partners

  • How is fatherhood changing you (how to become a father but not lose yourself)

  • Managing work-life balance

  • Navigating the transition from partners to parents

  • How to bond with your child (Serve and Return, etc.)

  • How our own childhood model of a father (or lack thereof) influences us now

This group is open to all who identify as new dads, including those with soon-to-be-born children, and is open to all male- and/or masculine-identified parents, including those who identify as LGBTQIA+.