Therapy for Men's Issues

There is an inner war within men between our three different selves: the Primitive, where survival depended on war, hunting, and procreation; the Traditional, where society taught our fathers and grandfathers that being a man meant being strong and silent, with a stable career to support a family; and the Modern, with its unstable jobs, the weight of being seen as part of "the patriarchy," and the awareness that gender and sexual identities exist on a spectrum.

As children, we were "trained" for manhood by playing with toys often centered around war and superheroes. We were taught that our worth was determined through sports. We were taught that feelings meant weakness. This has left us with a lack of skills to process feelings in healthy ways, which can show up as anger you can't explain, emotional distance you can't bridge, and a gnawing feeling that something is fundamentally off, even when your life looks fine from the outside.

It can lead to behaviors harmful to ourselves, including addictive behaviors such as substance abuse, porn, workaholism, and over-competitiveness; to our professional lives, and to our intimate relationships, including sexual performance, an area of our lives in which we often feel pressure to be both the conquering alpha and the vulnerable lover.

In our work together, we will reconcile the various, conflicting identities men often struggle with, such as career versus family, alpha beast versus vulnerable inner child, infidelity versus family man, or society's heteronormative male image versus feeling something different inside. We will clarify your values, which sometimes means realizing that long-held ideas of success and happiness aren't actually what fuels you now. We will uncover what really matters to you. Then we will integrate it all into a healthy whole where conflicting identities are able to coexist, within your personal definition of what a "man" is.

My approach is direct, honest, and rooted in real experience. I've spent over fifteen years in the entertainment industry. I'm a married father of two young children. I've sat across from CEOs, artists, fathers, and men who look like they have everything but feel like they have nothing.

In our work, I draw from depth psychology, CBT, narrative therapy, existential therapy, and EMDR, with each client's treatment plan curated for their individual needs. Sometimes that means processing old trauma. Sometimes it means learning how to have a conversation with your partner without shutting down. Sometimes it means just having a space where you don't have to perform.

This is therapy built for men who are tired of the act and ready for something real.

I see clients in person at my Hermosa Beach office in the South Bay area of Los Angeles; at locations of your choice (such as home or office) in a concierge capacity; and via secure telehealth throughout California, including greater Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, and Sacramento.

If this sounds like what you're looking for, let's talk.